Hello World!

~*~ Hello, World, and I wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! ~*~

Pressed, then finally, Crushed

No matter where I go, I feel some degree of alienation, be it distant, or overwhelmingly suppressing. Appears a simple trick of the mind, blocking out the feeling, making it seem as though all is well. But you know, and I know, now especially, that that trick can never last. Mine tends to have a recurring pattern of the expiration date being firmly set on 4 years.

Self-worth destroyed, confidence realised to be an illusion; morals and life goals (by which any one really lives by (seriously, don't deny it; no matter how silly, or simple, or even dark they can be, they're there)) questioned.

Alienation presses. Can't be fought. Crushed.

With nothing really found to turn to, darkness creeps in like a fog, suffocating.

Only real solution is a fresh start, an escape.

As this isn't an option this time, I suppose we'll see what really happens if the darkness is left to set in, to settle.

Or, at least I will.

~One of many of Life's Questions~

Seriously. What is it with the whole pedophilic notion of calling people "baby", "babe" or "baby girl" etc. all the time? The pop songs of the past couple of decades have been riddled with this stuff. And there is yet to be seen a reasonable explanation for these ambiguities... o.0

~Just Dance~

Did only just slightly more than pass the exam ("commendable")... But weeeeeeeeeeeee I passed! :D

Brain's Advice for the Day

~ You should never try to be, or try to act, like someone else. To do so, you erode your own personality to the extent where there may be no going back. And yet you get no new qualities to bring you closer to your goal.

You are simply left with a fake, your old self no-longer existent, the fake further away from what you wanted than what you had started with. ~

Also, today's date, in binary, equals to the number 30 (in the decimal system).

~*~

Americaine has done it again!

In other notes: Dance exam tomorrow... :x Wish me luck!

Oh, and I just thought the title looked nice. ^

Brain's proverb of the Day

Accept life as a gift, not a prize ~

Restless

Restlessness taking over, hard to tell why. No explanation. Feeling as though I am staring life straight in the eyes, but with a feeling of not being able to read its expression. A secret being kept from me.

Want something more, yearning for that other fate or destiny. But in the end, the only option is to go back to the arduous tasks of the everyday, and the deja vu evoking schedule that repeats from week to week.

I'd really want to catch one of those time flies, and study it more closely ~

What goes on inside my head

Philosophical deliberations are one to many in my head, and all too often. (Ever heard of the expression: Can't hear yourself think? Well trust me, it's even worse when you do.) Worse yet, once I come to a philosophical conclusion, it lasts exactly 24-hours inside my head, and is then lost for all of eternity thanks to my notoriously short term memory.

Seriously, that stuff is only useful for night-before-the-actual-test-study sessions.

But the point is, unless I get to some pen and paper quickly, no philosophical conclusion or witty word combination of mine will ever survive.

So I gift you with my most recent, (and lucky), proverb, that has been fortunate enough to not have the fate of perishing in the deep and dark abyss that is my mind:

~ Love can easily be mistaken for Respect, and vice versa.

But why?

Because the two are Soul mates; One cannot exist without the Other. ~

Pretty sure it sounded better in my head before, but oh well. Just my two cents.

Be Sure to Stay Tuned for More~ (Now that I have finally FOUND this damn blog)

Blog.... FOUND

Gah, after much deliberation and cursing at Blogger for losing my blog, I have found it.

Long story short, and many lazy days after, I have worked out that it was in fact g-mail that I was meant to be cursing at. Either way, it's the end result that really counts.

I has my blogz back now.

Those People

Those people, not -those- people.

In no way are those words meant to be read with bad connotations, quite the opposite in fact. More like with a kind of awe and admiration, the way "God" is read in comparison to just "god". In my mind the words are said with almost a kind of reverence.

Those People are in fact the sort of people that cast a flawless first impression. One of perfection, or maybe "nobility" is the word I'm looking for. It is even beyond me to be jealous of them. Just in awe, and with a sudden desire to aspire to become just like that.

They usually tend to appear to be one of those people that have it all. The heart, the mind, the looks. Kind, smart, gifted by nature. Boy or girl. Though one gives hope, whilst the other evokes a sort of jealousy and at the same time a competitive goal with a possibility.

You automatically feel below them, not in the bad way, but it brings about a sense of respect. It can almost be annoying, as you see them doing something effortlessly, that something which you feel would be impossible for yourself. Or maybe they see something from a different perspective, one which now seems obvious, but also one you knew you could not reach even if you had eons to think about it.

And all this goes through my head in a matter of seconds... I doubt the person, or people, involved even realize my impression of them.

Of course it seems to only pertain to -first impressions-. The more you know someone, the more flaws you discover, and with that any initial awe you might have had, fades. I am yet to meet such a person who manages to withhold my awe throughout a prolonged period of time.

However, such an impression does leave that mental imprint of complete and utter perfection, one which without doubt must be achievable in the self if observed in another. Oh, the flaws and disillusions of an "impression". Still, gives you that invincible feeling if you feel striving for it will allow you to reach the unreachable.

There's still hope...right? :P

Good things... they never last, do they?

It's something that becomes more obvious with every time. Those highs of life, when you believe it will never end, when you can't even imagine a moment, or feeling for that matter, when it was otherwise. Though I haven't been naive enough to do so for awhile now.

I tend to try and savour the time, almost trying to salvage the feeling of pure bliss and the joy experienced to back to later when needed. So far it hasn't worked. Won't stop me from trying though.

Another thing I noticed is that the drop from a high seems even more sudden and usually even more horrible simply because you were expecting it, just because weren't ready relinquish that scrap of happiness that life had lent you for so brief a time. Well, at least you had it to begin with, I suppose.

Personally, expecting it is still a bonus, since it allows you to look at it almost as though from the sidelines. It gives you a certain patience and calmness, an ability to ride out the worst of it as long as it lasts. I am yet to discover what happens when that complacency runs out...

But, as they say, with every high comes its low, and after every low comes its high. For now all that is left to do is to ride out the storm, and look towards the horizon to the evasive sun, waiting for it to come out and bring its rainbow... Or two.

Me paenitet ~

Ignorance is Bliss

Ignorance is Bliss ~

The more I think about it, the more I marvel at the meaning behind the phrase. Just the simplicity it implies: the less you think, the happier you are.

Probably why childhood is considered to be the golden age of anyone's life, and is to be cherished while it lasts. Not that you realise it until it has passed and you -thought- about it properly.

Of course I realise the merit behind possessing knowledge too, and am beginning to understand how flexible and stretchy the mind and your thoughts can become with it. However such possession does imply a great deal more attention on your part, not to mention the expectations from you by others once in possession of something as simple as Pythagoras's theorem:

I won't dare imagine what how much further -that- one can be taken... -_-

(A mere simplistic example really, it's just that my current subject preference for maths tends to steer me this way...)

But this endless cramming of "Knowledge" (yes, I question the stuff put into our supple minds in todays schools) really brings you to wonder whether we could have done without it. Every new addition just makes you think more, and has you get lost in the vast maze of your mind. Ever tried backtracking an hour long thought pattern?

Life. Thinking.

All this captures the attention, makes you obsessed with putting together this endless puzzle of life, which happens to have more than a googolplex of puzzle pieces. And you never get to just stop, and enjoy what is already there, what you have already put together. You'll never notice that rainbow in the corner, or the mesmerizing glitter of a speck of glass that has been front of you the whole time. All you care about is working out where to put that next puzzle piece of plain white.

Well there. I have lost myself in yet another thought. I suppose this is the cost of us being sentient.

Also in a way explains the phrase: "With great Knowledge, comes great responsibility."

...or was that 'with great power, comes great responsibility'?

Either way, "Knowledge is power", and there's no disputing that.

As for me? I think I still prefer that "Ignorance is Bliss ~"

ART

Deviant... ART

Sadly with the hectic schedule provided by the school, and the time-wasting, procrastinating schedule provided by mwa, I never get the time to draw, paint, sketch... or do anything else remotely artistic.

Hopefully I can change that a bit soon. Also hoping to get into photography a bit more... now if only I could work out how to turn this darn camera on. >:|

My Deviantart account: http://breeze-drop.deviantart.com/

Also pretty stale and dead. Maybe I'll get around to adding something more to it soon... or maybe in half a year. ^_^

Ok... Let's try this again.

Now to try and keep a blog alive... and not just post once and let it sit there getting all stale and pointless for half a year. Let's see how long I last this time round.

Keeping a Blog- Take 3

Oh, and TWILIGHT.

Holiday Pondering

Live in the present; the future startles you.

But living in the future, it will be reality startling you. ~

With all the relaxation and the no pressure schedule of holidays, you can really let yourself lose track of time, be it the day or the date, or of the hours themselves. Got a pleasant surprise when I realised I didn't need to plan ahead for what I had to do tomorrow or the day after that. Not to mention not wanting to occupy my mind with empty planning to begin with.

You really begin to understand people who like to live "in the spur of the moment".

But that also brings you to wonder on ones approach to the everyday life. Where school, work or whatever takes up a big part of your day, there are only the short weekend breathers to keep your mind afloat. Then it is back to diving into the depth of the everyday schedule.

You're always forced to think ahead, to that test you have to do tomorrow, to that assignment due the day after that. And the moment it's done, your mind wipes clean and simply jumps to the next task on the agenda. Not living for the present but instead for the future, makes the life dull and repetitive and monotonous. Just the reality of it is enough to startle you.

It's thanks to the holidays that I decided to start this blog up in the first place. Interesting how life works, isn't it?